A group of guy friends gather around a bonfire. Beers are shared. The funny guy in the group tells a bawdy joke. Everyone laughs and loosens up. More beers are consumed. Before long, everyone is sharing intimate questions and concerns. The topic of rear-end hygiene arises. A couple guys reveal they shower after every bowel movement. The quiet guy in the group pipes up: I use a bidet.
Okay, fine, so maybe you didn’t hear about bidets around a bonfire. Maybe your group of guy friends is on a text chain and it came up that way. Or maybe you’re a woman, and your book club veered off course after a few bottles of vino and ending up talking bathroom hygiene. The point is, there’s usually one friend in a group that knows about bidets and the rest are in the dark. The Dark Ages, that is.
Bidets such the Brondell Swash 1400 have been popular around the world for decades. In other countries, people consider bidets far more sanitary than wiping with toilet paper. But in the United States, our bathroom behavior is like our Electoral College: it’s an outdated system that needs an update. However, in the case of bidets, the reason Americans have been so slow to modify their behavior is because of misinformation and awkwardness about asking for clear answers. This article is here to help.
Awkward Question 1: Won’t a bidet spray my waste everywhere?
No. Absolutely not!
One of the most misunderstood issues regarding bidets is how they work. Today’s bidets are replacements for your current toilet seat. They are not large bowls that sit next to your toilet. Those bidets of yesteryear were unwieldy and a bit tricky to use. Today’s bidets are luxurious, easy to use, and easy to install – once you remove your current toilet seat, they screw right into your toilet bowl. On the most basic level, bidets are seats that have nozzles that appear and spray fresh water at your bottom to clean it. The water comes from the same clean water line that feeds your faucet. It does NOT come from the toilet. If you purchase a nicer bidet, the nozzles are likely stainless steel and they will appear, retract and self-sanitize between each cleaning. Also on the nicer models, users can select the specific angle of the nozzle – do you want a front wash, a posterior wash, or an oscillating wash that goes back and forth? Users can also select the water pressure: do you want a gentle spray or a firmer wash? No matter the angle and water pressure you choose, the waste washes cleanly off your bottom and into the toilet. Think of it as a miniature shower for your bottom. So, the notion that a bidet is some sort of power hose that sucks up water from your soiled toilet bowl and then sprays waste either into your vagina or all over your rear end is 100% false. Bidets are clean, easy to use, and more sanitary than wiping.
Awkward Question 2: Does using a bidet hurt?
Does using a shower hurt? Of course not! I mean, sure, you can set your water temperature to scalding hot and your water pressure to maximum, but most people in their right mind would not choose that. By and large, bidets are far more comfortable to use than toilet paper. Granted, you might have an initial adjustment period after a lifetime of using dry paper to wipe. But after a few washes, you will wonder what took you so long to make the switch. It truly is that much more comfortable than wiping with dry paper. Furthermore, for the millions of Americans who suffer from hemorrhoids, a 2011 study showed that warm water bidet washes can help reduce hemorrhoids just as much as a warm sitz bath.* It also showed that warm water washes may promote blood circulation in the tender skin around the anus. When you consider that, you realize that other beneficiaries of bidet washes include: new moms who just gave birth, and those who suffer from constipation or anal fissures. Bottom line (no pun intended), bidets are relaxing to use, not painful.
Awkward Question #3: Are bidets really that much cleaner than wiping?
Yes. That’s why the rest of the world is bemused that Americans still buy and use so much toilet paper. If you’ve been pooped on by a bird, it’s likely you didn’t just wipe the poop off with the dry paper. You probably used water to clean up. Similarly, if you’ve ever stepped in dog doo-doo, you probably did more than wipe it off with a napkin. If you were changing a baby’s diaper and waste got on your arm… well, you get the point. When it comes to waste touching our bodies, we use water to clean it everywhere except in our own sensitive areas. This logic simply doesn’t make sense. We know it’s hard to believe when the U.S. gets something wrong, but in this case, we really are lagging behind the world. Washing is better than wiping!
We hope this article helped clear up any mistaken ideas you had about bidets. Now, next time you find yourself in an intimate conversation about bathroom behavior, you’ll be the expert!
Author Bio:
Jensen Lee is the Founder and Managing Member of bidetsPLUS, an online retail store specializing in bidet toilet seats. Prior to bidetsPLUS, Jensen held management positions in technology-related fields, in both the U.S. and Europe. He has held the position of Product Manager of Global Network Services for British Telecom. Most recently, he held the position of Executive Director of Product Marketing at AT&T Interactive, AT&T’s internet advertising division.
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